Babies are portable.

And other things I know to be true about life with a newborn

I’m not very good at postpartum—at least not as expected. I’m too stubborn to sit on the couch and let myself heal. With my second son born just a few weeks ago, I baked bread on the second day of being home. Crackers from scratch on day 3 because the jar was empty and we love crackers in this house. I started posting on this blog that I’ve always wanted to dedicate more time to, and I joined a book club.

Among other things.

I like to have a project on the go at all times. Preferably at least 7.

When we walked in the door, I started tidying up as soon as my oldest was distracted with inspecting the baby. I needed to get myself situated. Shower. Make a bone broth and collagen hot chocolate in an attempt to feel better before setting myself up on the couch for the rest of the day.

I had slept for only about 4 of the previous 48 hours.

If you’re a mama, you know how good that first at home shower feels after birth. The rinse off while still in the hospital isn’t the same—that’s just out of necessity. You know you need to do better than the sponge bath they gave you before leaving L&D, but there’s still too much adrenaline pumping through your body to do more than rinse. Being away from your new little baby for even a few minutes feels awful. And hospital showers aren’t cute.

That shower when you get home though? It hits different.

Maybe because it’s step 1 to the return to normalcy. It’s awkward AF. Your body doesn’t feel like yours, even though technically you have your insides to yourself again. Your tummy maybe looks soft and squishy as if your baby’s still cozied up there, but you know he’s not with you for the first time in 10 months. He’s cuddling with grandma while you shower.

Dad’s on toddler duty or has run out to pick up the painkillers and other miscellaneous items you need to get comfortable.

And you get to start the long journey of feeling like yourself again. Alone. But only for a few minutes.

This tangent aside… As traditionally bad as I am at living and letting go in the postpartum seasons of my life, I think I thrive in motherhood. Mama is my favourite title, and raising my babies is a responsibility I don’t take lightly (even though we love to have fun).

So that’s some backstory on this blog post, which is hopefully going to be a few words of encouragement and insight for the mama who’s too anxious to leave the house. For the one who wants to start feeling like herself.

PSA: You can keep living your life postpartum

While yes, I know we need to rest and heal and bond with our babies, I also think that postpartum mamas deserve support in getting back to regular life too. Because it’s doing normal things that helps so many of us feel better.

Yes, we need skin to skin and couch cuddles and to binge watch our favourite TV shows while our baby sleeps on us. But I know I also need to get up and move a bit—doing things I normally do—in order to feel like myself. And when mama feels good, it sets a better mood for the family.

Normal. That’s my goal because I know that with every baby I bring home, nothing will ever be the same as it was before I walked out my front door and into Labour and Delivery. But typical, average, and normal are reasonable goals to work towards.

After a week, I’m ready to leave the house in small outings. The grocery store. A market. This time around, those outings included wineries I’d been dying to visit since we moved to wine country recently.

My first outing was to the grocery store, and my husband called it “a Jill Break” because arguably, I shouldn’t have left the house yet. But you can bet I hobbled my way around the store in my matching sweat set and diaper because I wanted to pick out my own treats for our celebratory charcuterie night, dammit. My boys waited for me at self checkout while I hobbled back for something I forgot. Too stubborn to let it go.

It’s normal to be anxious

Disclaimer: I’m not talking about postpartum anxiety or depression. This is in reference to a typical level of mama nerves about her baby.

My first was on 7 planes before he was 1 year old. He went to 3 weddings between 3 and 6 months. Wineries. Hikes. Weekends away and long road trips.

My second is the first in the family to be born in wine country, so while he doesn’t have to travel as far to get to the hikes and views we love, his number of outings are rising too.

Even if it doesn’t seem like it with all the places both my babies have been, I’m anxious about them. When they cry, I also have to convince myself that everything is okay and we aren’t really being hunted by lions. I constantly check that both are breathing. I’m on high alert when others hold them, and honestly prefer to have them close to me when they’re little. Even if that means I don’t have the use of both hands or am always wearing a little person at events in a wrap or carrier. Good thing that babies in wraps make cute accessories.

It needs to be made clear that the above feelings I’ve described are natural and normal—that’s just mothers with their babies.

But there’s some things I know to be true, and these facts have helped minimize my anxiety about taking the little ones places: Babies are portable, washable, and just want to be near you.

So we pack them up with extra clothes and lots of snacks, and we drive.

My activity levels postpartum

I think the amount that I do in postpartum seasons is because I’m so stubborn. I have sh*t to do.

Stubborn enough to take my 10 day old baby to a winery.

Stubborn enough to still do the stairs in our house.

I know it’s not necessarily the best for me, but I can’t sit for too long or I’ll start to wallow and feel stuck.

At the time I started writing this, it was week 5 postpartum. I know what this looks like on the outside when I post that my family and I have gone somewhere fun again. And because I always want to be authentic and honest, here’s some context that hopefully helps you feel better if you haven’t left the house yet at this stage too.

The hikes I did are easy for me. We walked much slower than usual. At first, I carried the baby, but not a backpack. It’s a push, but the kind I like. So I do it and know that I’ll need to soak at the end of the day.

On week 6, I felt well enough to do my first hike with elevation. It was 2km straight up to the mountain peak, and 3.5km back down the switchbacks on the other side. I wore the baby and a light backpack that time, and felt great.

At the turn of week 7, I went back to the gym for a barbell class. I intentionally took it easy so I feel good today, but halfway through I wondered how the eff I managed to do this until 40 weeks pregnant.

How I get sh*t done with 2 babies

I’ve learned how to make the most of the type of time available to me at the moment, and am really good at jumping between tasks as my family allows. That’s how I get a lot of things done.

For example, if I’m on toddler duty, we can bake or meal prep together. It can be an activity. Or we’ll sing or do simple motor skills exercises with kitchen items at the counter so I can quickly whip something up. I can’t do anything with a screen in that type of time.

This morning, I managed to take my vitamins, make my bone broth hot chocolate, make the toddler oatmeal, and make brunch for my husband and I. Along with a handful of daily chores like dishes and dusting… All with the toddler running around my feet.

While feeding the baby (aka stuck on the couch), I posted on my work pages on Instagram, checked my emails, and started to make a plan for the day.

I also got to cuddle and read with both because it’s not all about how productive you are around here. We like to enjoy life too.

Currently, both babies are napping and my husband is on duty. This is the perfect opportunity for computer work, focused time, and writing tasks like this. My house is quiet and relatively clean, so I can go all into whatever I’m working on without the distractions of the family running around or dishes piling up in the sink.

Leaving the house with a baby and a toddler

It takes us at least an hour to leave the house. My babies cry in public sometimes. They nap where we are or in the truck (sometimes after more tears). But that’s okay because babies crying is normal and okay. And if you ever try to rush with a baby, it somehow takes longer.

So I relinquish control and plan for every scenario.

Packing the diaper bag for a baby and a toddler

There’s a handful of things I bring everywhere with us now that we have 2 in diapers, and 1 breastfeeding (with the occasional bottle of breast milk so I can go to the gym, etc.).

In our diaper bag, you’ll find:

• Diapers for both, wipes, and a change pad
• 1 set of extra clothes for the toddler
• 2-3 sets of extra clothes for the newborn
• 1 extra top and bra for me (for rogue spit up mishaps)
• Pacifiers
• 3 x burp cloths
• Large ziplock bag (for wet clothing)
• Small muslin or flannel blanket (tbd weather)

In our snack bag, you’ll find:

• Waters for all
• Snacks. Multiples depending on the outing. Things like granola bars, homemade sourdough crackers, cheese, bananas, breakfast cookies, etc.
• Garbage bag for the truck
• Napkins x a lot

Other items we sometimes bring are:

• TBD weather, hats, mittens, sunscreen, etc.
• Picnic blanket

Where and how my babies nap in public

With how often we go out, the babies need to nap in public. I’m of the belief that if they’re exposed to napping in unusual places and through a variety of sounds, light levels, etc. it will help them learn for the future.

That’s even coming from someone who’s first was a “bad” sleeper. Quotes around “bad” because I think he just slept like a typical breastfed baby did. He needed support to sleep, woke up multiple times to feed throughout the night, and just wanted to be close. He could nap through anything though.

My babies have napped everywhere. Wineries. On planes and in cars. At weddings and other parties. Busy restaurants. Friends and family’s houses… Wherever we go, they nap.

We don’t have a sleeping pod or tent. We don’t use a noise machine aside from in their bedrooms. And we don’t even bring the pack and play most of the time—our babies nap on me or their dad when we’re out.

We did get noise canceling headphones for the loudest places, like weddings. But that’s more for their safety and comfort rather than a sleep aid.

When we’re out and about, we still pay attention to the age appropriate wake windows and support them to sleep when it’s time. Even if the location is different, we try to maintain some consistency for them. That looks like doing the usual feed, change, and play. That means we do a lot of feeds and diaper changes in the truck. When they show signs that they’re getting tired, I wrap them up or rock them to sleep wherever we are.

Breastfeeding on demand while living your life

Others have asked about feeding babies. Specifically how I feed mine while living my life.

The answer is: I got comfortable with feeding in public, or sitting alone in the truck when we’re out adventuring and I want some privacy.

If we’re hiking and a baby is hungry, we just stop and I feed them. If we’re at a restaurant, I stop and feed them. If we’re somewhere with drinking involved and I don’t feel okay about feeding them, we pull out a bottle of pumped breast milk from the freezer and feed them. Then I pump (using just a hand pump) the equivalent of what they drink to replace the feed and maintain supply and demand.

I have had an oversupply with both babies, which means I need to bring a few backup cloths or a change of clothes in case we all get messy. But that’s the worst of it.

If I need to pump while out—maybe I’m out with my toddler, but not the baby, or we don’t have a good spot to clean the pump—then I bring a cooler pack and a sealed bag to put my pump and accessories in until we can get home to clean everything properly. I also store any milk here in storage bags or the pump’s bottle to freeze later. The cool temperature is kind of like the fridge method.

Babies just want mama to hold them

Aside from the other parent and maybe their siblings, the only bond a newborn really needs to make is with mama. That means you can make your baby your go-to accessory and continue living your life without risk of the outings you choose turning into a game of pass the baby. It also means you can keep doing the things you want to do at home. Maybe just a little slower these days, with fewer items to check off your list.